This is how it goes...

Just starting out here. I need to just let it out! My life could be better, but it could be worse. I'm here to write about all things negative. If you don't want to hear it, then don't read this. I had another fight with my husband. NOT a suprise. We got into a fight last night because it was our (my) daughter's 1st school christmas party. And we got there late. So she missed singing with her class and playing with them afterward. Could I be a worse mom? Of course I could, and not even care. Well that's where G comes in. He didn't care. And on top of that, he left right after we got there to go visit some guy he's trying to work with. But he's been doing that every other night. Why couldn't he take a break? for one night? it wouldn't have killed him. But I feel like I should. So, we get home, I get the girls ready for bed. Wait until 11 and he's still not home. so I go to bed. He finally gets home. Fast forward to this afternoon. He came home for a lunch break. Didn't say one word to me the whole time. Probably cause he knew I was mad at him. So after an hour, I go over (he's sitting on the couch) and I hug him (I hate it when we fight, even though it seems to happen everyday). He takes my hug as "I would LOVE to have SEX with you RIGHT NOW!" Which is nowhere near what I was thinking. So he proceeds to rip my clothes off all the while I 'm saying "no" "I don't want to" "please stop". But he doesn't listen. This probably happens every other day. You think I'd be used to it by now. Afterward, I get mad at him (i know, again) and he gets mad at me for being mad at him. He then storms out of the house, leaving me crying on the floor. Why do I always put up with him? And this is my life as a wife. Funny, I didn't think it would be this way. What's wrong with me?